A hope does not fail.

Paul shared an important truth with the Christians in Rome. The assumption that suffering is for naught; that nothing good can come from bad things is wrong. Faith in God, makes the opposite assertion true. Great good, transformative experiences, critical insights, and rapid change are, more often than not, byproducts of suffering, hardship, struggle and loss. When we endure suffering with God, good things can come from bad circumstances.

This truth became apparent during COVID. For decades, congregations in mainline denominations envied the TV and online broadcasts of independent mega churches. We could not match the production quality or audience sizes of mega churches. The pandemic and suspension of in person gatherings brought unprecedented suffering, but it also brought unprecedented change. Communities of faith, some in a few weeks others over months, accomplished what they had not achieved in decades. Equipment was purchased, technicians hired or members trained to run the equipment, and board casts began. Online broad casts of worship, prayer groups, and faith formation sessions were wide spread, many were of high quality and some, like our National Cathedral, had large audiences. The suffering of the pandemic not only generated rapid change in faith communities, it accelerated research, promoted scientific collaborations and transformed the business model of pharmaceutical companies in this country and throughout the world. Suffering during COVID presented opportunities for transformation, insight and change.

This is how Paul described these opportunities, of good things coming out of bad circumstances. Paul wrote to the Christians in Rome,

...God’s grace allows us to boast, not only of God’s glory, but to boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope, because of God's love, does not disappoint. Romans 5:2-5

Reliance on God’s love, seeking God’s mercy, and deploying God’s justice is the secret sauce. With God as our guide we can walk through the valley of the shadow of death with no fear of evil. Psalm 23:4 With God as our helper goodness and mercy will follow us today and every day of our lives. Psalm 23:6

Today is Father’s Day so I must confess, I loved my dad. We were very close. I am told that when I was a toddler and my dad returned home for dinner after the late hours for his medical practice I climbed into his lap to share his dinner. I happily ate his food even when it was covered in hot sauce. My knowledge and skills for building maintenance and repair were acquired because I was his helper as he worked around the house. When I went to college I intended to become a physician so that I could practice medicine with my father, but I failed the pre-med courses. I got good in the religion classes so this was one of many things that motivated me to pursue my father’s avocation. My father’s dedication to church and faith in God, led clergy and bishops ask my father to seek ordination. My father enrolled in seminary and was a part-time student for years until his first child went to college. Dad dropped out of seminary to take on extra work to pay for our college educations. So, when my father was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer, I was devastated. I could not fathom how I would deal with his illness. I was not able to figure out how I would cope with his death. I could not envision life without his presence and partnership. Who would I talk to about church stuff? How would I maintain my home without my handyman dad? Who would interpret what my doctors told me? Surviving the death of a high school friend, years before dad’s diagnosis, I learned that God would never leave or forsake me. So after dad’s diagnosis I nagged God incessantly. I was a one song suzy. My prayers were limited to a litany of why’s: why him, why us, why a terminal illness, why now? I relentlessly sought God’s help during consultations with my therapist, sessions with my spiritual director, whenever I read Scripture and asking colleagues how they coped with the loss of their parents. Over the four years it took for dad to fight and succumb to prostate cancer, my choice to suffer with God produced endurance, and the endurance developed my character, and the development of my character brought hope. The hope I found made the promise of resurrection immediate and real.

Since my father’s death, I have felt his presence and experienced his partnership. Whenever Roman sings with Indira, I can see dad and I standing together in the pew and hear our voices harmonizing as we sang hymns during worship. One Saturday Thom wore a church neck tie. Dad had the same tie. Thom and dad were members of St. John of the Cross. Thom, like dad, served on church committees and commissions and worked to protect and promote the church. Last summer Larry and his brother offered to replace a few rotted tread on the stairs leading to the Carter Room. When they took off the treads and discovered the risers and supports for the stairs were also rotted, I was transported to the many times my mother warned dad and I that the minor repair job we were undertaking was not a small job. Watching Larry and his brother work grow from days to weeks, brought dad to life. During fellowship after worship Don will describe and explain things. My pop had explanations for everything and answers to all our questions. Don has an eidetic memory so his explanations are reliable. As my brothers and I aged, we discover our pop made up many of answers to our questions. I am privileged to take Communion to Jon and Vinnie at home. Vinnie and Jon, like my pop, devoted their time, skills and money to care for people they loved and to serve God in the church and world. Taking my fears to God, accepting God’s help, laying things that were out of my control at the altar, transformed the experience of my father’s terminal illness, death, and these years without him. Walking through the valley of the shadow of death with God, offered insights that sustained me. Seeking God in all circumstances gave me the wisdom to sustain my mother and brothers. Surrendering what was outside my control to God brought changes that strengthened by character.

On this Father's Day, I am grateful for my dad and equally grateful for the men who devote their time, talents and treasures to support their loved ones and service God. Men who rely on God’s love, men who seek God’s mercy, and men who deploy God’s justice. In my eyes, men like this are perfect as our Heavenly father is perfect. On this Father’s Day, I pray the Holy Spirit will inspire and guide more and more men to love and serve the Lord.