Search me?
Proper 11, Year A
Search me? Are there times when you cannot see what lies ahead? This is the case for me. I have concerns about the church’s future. I am unclear about what I will do when I retire. I have no clue about what lies ahead for my children. Do you have doubts about whether you are doing God’s will? The author of Psalm 139 had doubts. The Psalmist said, “search me.”
“Search me, O God, know my heart; test me and my thoughts… Look well to see whether there is wickedness in me and lead me in your way… “ (Psalm 139:23-24a)
The Psalmist pleaded for God’s guidance, because challenges and circumstances made it hard to see ahead and know God’s will.
Jesus understood this problem. He used a parable to help people manage challenges and circumstances that generate doubts (Matthew 13:24-30.) Jesus likened God’s kingdom in heaven and as it is on earth, to a field. In God’s kingdom, good and bad seeds were sown, grown, and harvested together. Let those with ears to hear, listen to the parable that Jesus told.
“The kingdom of heaven is like someone sowing good seed in their field. While everyone slept, an enemy sowed weeds among the wheat and left. As the good seeds matured into plants and bore grain, weeds appeared as well. The slaves of the householder expressed their concern, “did you not give us good seed to sow in your field? Where did the weeds come from?” The householder responded, “an enemy must have done this!” The servants asked, “do you want us to pull up the weeds?” The householder replied, “no, if we pull up the weeds it will uproot the wheat. We must let the good and bad seeds grow together until the harvest. At harvest time, I will instruct the reapers to collect the weeds first, and bind them in bundles to be burned, and after, gather the wheat into my barn."
God is the “someone sowing good seed” in the parable. God, the householder, owns and has authority over everything and everyone. You and I are the slaves. Everything and everyone in our lives comes from God. God is both maker and master of the field in the parable. The field in the parable is the world we live in, and the lives we live. God provides good seeds and orders the slaves to sow the good seeds in the field. An enemy snuck in and planted bad seed in the field. The enemy in this parable represents disobedient slaves. Disobedient people, you and I, generate evil when we fail to do God’s will. The reapers are also slaves of God, they are children of God like the other slaves in the parable. God told the reapers how to conduct the harvest. They listened, and followed God’s directions. By obeying God, the reapers reduced the impact of the enemy’s evil. The reapers were faithful and diligent stewards of God’s field. They devoted their time, talent, and treasurers to separate wheat from weeds. Their obedience to God and partnership with God saved the harvest. The furnace in the parable represents the pain and loss of life without God. It represents the suffering we undergo when we turn away from God or cannot find God. The barn represents life with God. Just as the barn in the parable stored and preserved the wheat, loving and serving God supports gracious and abundant life. Jesus used this parable to shows us how God’s kingdom operates in heaven and on earth.
God’s kingdom is not just a place we hope to go after death. God’s reign is not limited to the far off and unknown time of Jesus’ return. As Jesus explained to those willing to listen to the parable, the kingdom of God (good seed is planted, grown, and harvested) is here and now. The parable also explained that hell is here and now. Hell is not just the destination for disobedient people go after death. Good and bad seed are sown, grown, and harvested in the same field. Heaven and hell are experienced during our lives. Peter warned us about this reality. He said:
“Be sober, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking some one to devour. Resist evil, be firm in your faith, knowing that the same experience of suffering is happening to your brothers and sisters throughout the world.” (1 Peter 5:8-9)
The author of Psalm 139 had doubts about their actions, but was certain about God. The Palmist was clear: God is in charge; knows and sees everything; and cares about everyone. The Psalmist resolutely proclaimed:
“God traces my journeys and my resting-places. God is acquainted with all my ways. If I climb up to heaven, God is there; if I make the grave my bed, God is there also. If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there God’s hand will lead me and your right hand hold me fast.” (Psalm 139:2, 7-9)
Since God knows everything, since God is everywhere and God loves everyone, the Psalmist was counting on God to lead and guide them. The Psalmist said “search me! I don’t know if I’m a sinner or a saint, but I do know that I need God to lead me and guide me.” (Psalm 139:23-24a)
God will lead us away from temptation and deliver us from evil. Are you resolved to let God lead and guide you? God is greater than challenges posed by our enemies. God is more powerful than the evil around us. God can, and will lead and guide us. When your resolve is undermined by doubts, follow the Psalmist’s example. The Psalmist used memories to strengthen their resolve. Memories of times when the field of their life was sown and overgrown with blessings. The Psalmist used the history of God’s acts of justice, reconciliation, grace, and mercy to confirm God’s presence, power, and purpose.
When I wonder about the future of the church, or worry about what I will do in retirement, or become anxious about how my children will fare, I say “search me?” I acknowledge my doubts and look for God to lead me and guide me along the way.
